Obama to asthmatic kids: Go suck wind.

The Obama administration this week issued new federal dictates outlawing life-saving affordable asthma inhalers, MSNBC reports, under the scientifically ludicrous claim they are a threat to the entire planet.

“Once again, environmentalists kill,” said American Tradition Partnership Executive Director Donald Ferguson.

“I can tell you from personal experience access to these affordable, lower-priced inhalers is the only reason a lot kids see another birthday.  Obama has coldly and cruelly embraced an environmentalist hoax to keep alive his access to the checkbooks of wealthy environmentalist groups — and thousands of kids will pay a terrible price.”

Between one to two million Americans rely on the now-outlawed inhalers, according to Badrul Chowdhury, FDA’s director of pulmonary drug division.  Many of them are children and a disproportionate number live in poverty and are unable to afford the higher-priced Obama-mandated inhalers.

“But the switch to a greener inhaler will cost consumers more. Epinephrine inhalers are available via online retailers for around $20, whereas the alternatives, which contain the drug albuterol, range from $30 to $60,” MSNBC reports.

“It seems the environmentalist solution to non-existent problems is to rack up a death toll.  The idea asthma inhalers will annihilate the planet is scientifically laughable, but the now-increased childhood death rate from is nothing to laugh at.  Instead of making kids suffer, it’s time to snuff out the deadly environmentalist movement,” said Ferguson.